This weekend I made a couple of resolutions, and at the top of my list was to QUIT DATING SITES.
Now, I wasn't as inebriated as I've often become of late, with some embarrassing situations I found myself in over the last week, so my mind was clear and I set out a couple of goals I'd like to achieve within set periods of time.
For my last post, you can imagine the pressure I gave myself to be successful and there's no way in hell I'm gonna pass on being mediocre. I'm skipping ahead of myself: let me go back to why I quit.
About two weeks ago I was chatting up some blokes on Romeo when I came across what looked like a very promising profile:
Muscular. Looking for a relationship. Not into Blackmailers. You know, some of the right words to rouse interest. Inasmuch as I couldn't see the face, the pics looked real and the build was mmmh! So I got to inboxing. It's funny how most people get ticked off with a simple 'hey' or 'hello' ( I don't mean the 'hae's or the 'xaxa's) but how else would you open a conversation with someone you've never met, much less on a dating site? These are the things which make me wish I was in Atlanta, where I hear it's gay heaven :) (okay maybe I exaggerate a bit).
Well, it turns out the Mister I was chatting with happened to be a long lost acquaintance of mine, back when I was fresh meat in the community. It's back when Albert* took me to Tacos Bar for the first time in my life and I was introduced to this whole new world I was perplexed about; nervous and doe-eyed but he was among the first people I met.
'It's been forever Cornelius! How've you been?' he opened, after we both recognised some familiarities after sending each other facepics.
'I've been good man. Yeah it's been forever! Nice to bump into you here...' I enthused
'What are you looking for on here?'
'Well I'd be obliged to say a decent guy, maybe a relationship?...'
'It's tough getting that sort of stuff on here mate. There's loads of blackmailers and one-night stands just around the corner.' he said with such conviction that I was mildly terrified. I'd heard all the stories of guys being busted pants down and extorted of money and valuables. Of others lives being ruined all for simply hooking up with guys on dating sites. I wouldn't wish some of the things I've heard on even the worst of my enemies.
We left our conversation rather open ended, as expected: because now that we knew each other, it was rather awkward to continue along the lines of what we were both looking for... especially since we'd both been acquaintances prior and no interest transpired.
I'd had it with meeting a couple of guys and things not going anywhere. It was truly frustrating, moreso when patterns started to develop and you get caught up in a whirlpool, asking yourself a myriad of questions like am I really worth this? and what if all the bad stuff that's happened to others happens to me? It's those moments when you decide that you're willing to risk it out in the real world; meeting guys by chance, in the clubs and at events.
And meet such guys I have, both a long while ago and recently. You see it's tough for a gay guy to identify another gay guy out in the open - well, many would argue about having gaydar, or reading boy language or signals, but all these aren't an accurate approach. It's not like the way any guy can hit on any girl and get results (not forgetting our lesbian friends of course).
But you will have a few blushes or bruises if you end up hitting on the 'wrong' guy by misreading some of these signs, or when you're tipsy and a bit bolder. While some straight acting gay guys might be quite open to fronts, others are deeper in the closet and that would raise a lot more hell.
I'm willing to risk it though; because of late I've been seeing so many cute guys who seem very approachable, and the Lord knows I can't go through my prime years single.
I've also never had anything interracial... but that's a story for another day :)
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