I'm writing this as listen to Elani's 'Hapo Zamani'. Music is powerful. It transports you to a whole new emotional realm that is beyond description: but thankfully words are adept to convincingly, or appropriately, express feelings. And my feelings are quite depressive, just at the moment.
It's all been brought about by some stupid feelings you have for someone: it's mutual but never really been categorically defined. Then there he is, in the arms of someone else, right in front of you and it's like some daggers are repetitively slashing through your heart like an Orc death scene out of The Hobbit.
I pride myself in not being a the proverbial slut; you know, sleeping with every other guy that comes along who I find attractive, though more often than not, such promiscuity takes place in the mind. Ah well, we're human.
But here's someone, Sam, who invaded my bed at a sleepover and made out with me, and left, then the very next morning he's in someone else's bed, entangled. And it hurts. How can he just sit there cuddling with someone else, knowing very well... *sigh*
But at that very moment, realisation struck, and I am not deficient in self-worth. Whatever this is I've been feeling for him is now desolate and void. Okay who am I kidding; it's not. But it's a turning point and I will work tooth and nail to ensure all these feelings are chipped away until nothing is left.
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